Monday, December 15, 2003

merry f*cking christmas
So my Aunt is hosting Christmas at her house this year. Her brother is visiting from out of town. So she sends out an email to assign dishes for people to bring to the dinner.

At the end of the email she feels compelled to say this:

And just a special note: there will be 2 little ones (7 & 9) and their parents who do not use "b+~!@$, f*#>, or s*~!" words.

Now, granted, our family swears alot and yes, I am the main culprit, but I thought that was pretty rude to say. I mean, hello, why would we swear in front of strangers and CHILDREN. Ridiculous. So I went to my Grandma's house and had this discussion:

ME: Hey Gram, did you read that email from Auntie? Don't you think that was rude to "warn us" not to swear? I mean - come on - it's offensive that we would be that stupid.

GRAM: I don't know why she wrote that - kids today just talk like that no big deal.

ME: It makes me WANT to swear on purpose now. What if I grabbed that kid and said, "Merry Fucking Christmas, Nolan."

GRAM: That would be good.

ME: In fact I'm gonna change all my Christmas tags to say "Merry Christmas and shit."

GRAM: (Laughing hysterically) That sounds pretty good to me, you should do it.

ME: Fine then - look for that on your gift.


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