Thursday, March 18, 2004

Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you'll miss it
Sometimes I think to myself how weird it is to have a baby. All of a sudden in just a matter of months you're a different person. No, that's not it, not a different person, a different life. It's odd. When I was growing up I knew I would get married and have a family. End of story. I was never one those girls who planned out every detail of their "someday" wedding or named their unborn children. That was weirdness to me. Why do that stuff when you have no idea who your husband would end up being? Maybe because I felt I wasn't good with kids - other people's kids, I didn't gravitate towards them and want to hold them and blah blah. I used to wonder if that made me heartless, and not fit for motherhood. But it's different with your own kid. It's better. Motherhood is innate, at least that's what I've found, and it's one of the best feelings in the entire world.

So when I see myself with a baby I think how odd it is. Not because it doesn't feel right, but because I wonder how I got to this place. Getting married, buying a house, having a baby, being a grown up is a very scary thing, yet altogether exciting.

Maybe all this reflection is because one of our best friends is getting married. It's such a great thing to find that person and move ahead in life, and it's amazing cause it all changes so fast. Maybe it's because Kyle turned 31 yesterday. 31! I remember distinctly, sitting in my room when I was around 12 - wondering what my life would be like in the year 2000. Now 2000 has come and gone. Like I said life moves pretty fast...wait - suddenly I'm quoting Ferris Bueller. Or maybe - this odd stream of consciousness is from the fact that I am totally doped up on Tylenol with a massive migraine. Yeah, I think that's the real reason.

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