Sunday, May 14, 2006

There'll be tears before your bedtime,
you mark my words

Why have things been so bad lately? Well, all that crap about the 'terrible twos', it's all come true. Right. Now.

My once charming boy, who could make my heart melt with his smile, and never had a bad disposition, well, he's made me want to grab him and scream at the top of my lungs. He has turned 28 months, and at this moment, has decided that screaming bloody murder at 4am, and not wanting to sleep or nap, is A-OK. It is not.

I know this is just a phase. I know it will pass. But as I sit outside of his door listening, I cry. I cry because I am angry, and it's not his fault, it just feels like this will never end. Will he be 30 years old and still doing this to me?

I look at the baby and hope he's not taking mental notes for when it's his turn in 18 months. I wonder if I will be around then, or will I have packed my bags and moved to a far off destination where no one will find me.

Whenever you complain, people always say, 'that's why I don't want kids.' I can understand that. It's hard work. But if you try your best, and give them lots of love, maybe they'll appreciate it. Is it worth it...just for that maybe? Those without kids would say no. But I think it is. I can't express how it feels, the deepest love you will ever feel for another human being. It's indescribable.

Ask me again in 30 years when I'm still sitting by his door crying at 4am. Then maybe I'll change my tune.

mother's day cards.


Blogger Rokes said...

Don't will get better! I just know it!

Happy Mother's Day, Jenn! :)

Sunday, May 14, 2006 6:40:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

How about I distract the baby with cream puffs and monkeys so he doesn't notice Kid1's fits?

Sunday, May 14, 2006 8:40:00 PM  
Blogger justJENN said...

Uh - why don't you distract ME with cream puffs and monkeys! Yeah!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006 8:42:00 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I feel your pain, Jenn. I really do.

And despite the tantrums, the screaming, the fussiness. . .it is worth it all. And that love you're talking about? I know it well. I feel so lucky.

I hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day!

Sunday, May 14, 2006 10:24:00 PM  
Blogger joyce said...

hope you had a great mother's day!
a few people tell me they are a bit more "terrible" when they are 3 -- so far (for me) it's been both year 2 & 3 but those tantrums/crying last just a little bit - then they become angels again (of course until the next episode).

Monday, May 15, 2006 7:29:00 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

Wow, Jenn, hang in there. I admire the hard job you and all other moms do. I don't want kids myself, but it's very complex and beyond the screaming that will inevitably occur.

Very cute cards! I hope you had a good Mother's Day!

Monday, May 15, 2006 8:59:00 AM  
Anonymous nonamegiven said...

Grandma always said "Little children, little problems. Big children, big problems."
Don't imagine the baby at two, imagine the two year old at 15!
See. Now THAT's scary!

BTW, I followed you from Will's blog. Blame it on him.

Monday, May 15, 2006 1:22:00 PM  

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