Monday, December 10, 2007

Are those real?

I single handedly saved the environment today. Yup. I bought a FAKE tree. I have struggled for years with this decision. Sure, I love the experience of going out and buying a real tree, shoving the damn thing into the car and dragging it into the house - pine needles everywhere. However, the guilt about killing a live tree, the cleaning of said pine needles, and then my insane paranoia about the tree catching on fire while I am at work, those were my pros for a faker.

And really, I couldn't be happier with the decision. The tree is perfect with perfect lights and perfect branches and here's the best part, it looks dead. No I'm serious. I bought the fake tree that had a few brown tinted branches and I swear it makes it look all the more real.

The kids didn't know the difference, or ask why it was coming in three pieces out of a box, and we had a fun time decorating the tree. Our tree topper? Stuffed Mr. Hankey doll. I told the kids it was POO, they seemed fine with that.

I feel like this is the future. And until there are robot trees, which could be awesome cause maybe they'd vacuum my floor and make me a smoothie, I will stick with this fake tree as long as we are compatible. Sure there's no smell, but there's also no paranoia, so all is good in the world.

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Blogger Lissete said...

I have always had a fakey. Love my fakeys! Real ones make my eyes water, my nose run & my skin itch. You can always use something like this.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

Actually, fake trees are bad for the environment (hard to recycle) and are possibly dangerous to children (PVC contains lead). Christmas trees are planted for the sole purpose of harvest so you are not "killing" a tree when you purchase a real one. The production of Christmas trees (absorption of carbon dioxide) and the recycling of trees (mulch)makes them a renewable resource.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 7:17:00 AM  
Blogger justJENN said...

I thought about that. But I plan on never recycling (throwing away) my fake tree and keeping it for the rest of my lead loving life.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 7:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

Lead levels are higher in older artificial trees so keeping the fake tree increases your exposure to lead.

For a complete real v. fake comparison chart, click here:

Real trees are not "killed" but biodegrade or are recycled and are then regrown again and again.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 8:09:00 AM  
Blogger mamafabun said...

"Lead levels are higher in older artificial trees so keeping the fake tree increases your exposure to lead."

I'm pretty sure the level of lead in the artificial tree doesn't increase over time. Surely that would be a miracle of science. I assume what you mean is that articial trees that were produced in decades past contain more lead than ones produced today.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:07:00 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I was going to bring up similar points in response to your "saving the environment" claim. But that's no fun.

Merry Christmas and your tree is beautiful!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, I am single-handedly destroying the environment by purchasing a fake tree. You could have hit upon a marketing idea with the lack of pine tree smell Jenn. How about a replacement fairy light bulb that issues a fresh pine odour when plugged in? Entrepreneurial or what?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

mamafabun- yes, i meant older trees contain more traces of lead than newer fake trees, thanks for the clarification.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:36:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Very nice, Jenn! I especially love the Mr. Hanky topper. Heh.

I'm going to balance out your fake tree by buying a real tree this year - my first since my sophomore years in college. Hell, maybe I'll buy 12 to make up for lost time! ;)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:53:00 AM  
Anonymous mayieve said...

yay! I always prefered fake tree cuz it looks more beautiful..more balanced.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger Kevin Church said...

With the holiday season approaching, I was wondering if an upgrade to your sense of humor would be an appropriate present? It seems you don't understand Jenn's deadpan style and I'd hate to think what else you may be missing.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:12:00 AM  
Blogger Will said...

I just saw that there's a Lead Tree Depot near my house, finally the 100% lead tree I've always dreamed of.

Sure it weights 5,000 pounds but my kids say that it tastes as good as it looks.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:15:00 AM  
Blogger the slackmistress said...

I've been concerned that our kids aren't getting enough lead in their diet what with the Toy Recall. Supplementing with paint chips just hasn't done the trick.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger The Lisa Show said...

Fake plastic tree user here. Been using the same small one for three years now. We don't have pine trees here so I don't have an option, but even if I did, I'd still choose the plastic.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:40:00 AM  
Blogger The Lisa Show said...

Because it ain't Christmas without some good ol' lead.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:41:00 AM  
Anonymous sandy said...

if Jenn was indeed kidding about saving the environ by buying a fake tree then indeed i do need a sense of humor upgrade or maybe i need to start from scratch with version 1.0!

i don't mean to sound all real tree righteous. i swear i don't pass out pamphlets. there's just a ton of info out there re: the issue.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:51:00 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

Yay! I hate the Earth too. We've been lighting Hannukah candles, which apparently emit 15 grams of carbon dioxide per candle! That ends tonight though, so this weekend I'll bring out my lead filled fake tree, which I've had for over 15 years, so you know it's got a TON of lead! Woo hoo!

In the meantime though, I'm going to throw away all the styrofoam cups and plastic grocery bags that have been piling up. Oh, and I'll drive to the store on the corner for some bottled water and then throw those containers in the trash, along with uncut plastic ring holders from my six packs. Maybe I'll just dump those in the sewers that drain straight to the ocean.

You and the kids are invite to come by and fondle and/or lick my old, leady tree once I get it up.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:54:00 AM  
Blogger Will said...

Allow me to quote Jodi:

"You and the kids are invite to come by and fondle and/or lick my old, leady tree once I get it up."

Dirtiest comment ever. Bukowski just blushed in his grave.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 12:22:00 PM  
Blogger astrobuddha said...

hi jenn, i just found your blog through your flickr photos! I would have never thought posting a pic of a fake tree could solicit so many comments. Anyways, we just bought ours last year and are getting our second years worth this year!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 12:37:00 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

"You and the kids are invite to come by and fondle and/or lick my old, leady tree once I get it up."

Ha ha ha!! Oh, that made my crappy day brighter. Thanks for that.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 3:20:00 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

I must apologize for my poor grammar. I meant to say, "You and the kids are inviteD..."

Oh, and by the way, don't they chop down forests to make land for Christmas tree farms? Just saying.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 3:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Jessica V. said...

Wow - this is the best blog discussion I've read all week. Thanks for making my day brighter Jenn (and Jodi)! And I LOVE my fake tree - I'm a recent convert to fake trees, but this one is great. It is pre-lit and has been up since December 1, which my son loves. I may never find time to put any ornaments on it, but the pre-lit feature rocks!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 4:04:00 PM  
Blogger Bully said...

There's only one thing worse than a grinch stealing Christmas, and that's a grinch stealing the fun out of Christmas through incessant preaching.

Celebrate the holiday however you want. But stop telling other people how to live their lives.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:50:00 PM  
Blogger Jesser said...

LOL. Damn I'm glad right now that I blog in pretty much obscurity ... I would never have thought to pick apart this post in the least, but I suppose a million monkeys with typewriters or whatever. ;)

I hope to drag out our Charlie Brown style artificial this weekend.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 6:27:00 AM  
Blogger sko_G knits said...

good lord.

all i want to know is where did you get the fake tree? i have been searching high and low.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 5:17:00 PM  
Anonymous kat said...

gee...I sure do miss all the fun.

I knew some people who would buy a real tree with a root system in a burlap bag so they could plant it after Christmas. Not as cool as it sounds.

I have to say this (oh yeah, can't control myself) - they grow puppies for the sole purpose of selling puppies. They grow lots of things for the sole purpose of selling them - and they're ALL biodegradable.
-but that's usally in the argument opposing them.

I, personally, have about 4 plastic trees. Guess that makes me a collector.

Saturday, December 15, 2007 10:04:00 AM  

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