Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.

I survived Halloween. Peter Pan and Captain Hook were a smashing duo. They couldn't get enough of the trick or treating. A highlight was when someone said, "Thank you for coming by," and the Kid said, "No, THANK YOU." Ha. I couldn't stop laughing.

The Baby is still not quite grasping the concept of the whole thing. When people would open their doors he'd try and bolt inside. My brother and I spent most of the night wondering what was going through his head:

"Hey, is that Italian marble flooring, let me see that!"
"Whaddya watching?"
"What's the square footage in this joint?"
"Oh, is that meatloaf, can I have some?"

The Baby also felt the need to STAY at people's doors, once they were opened. Like he refused to leave. Especially if they had dogs. He just stood there yelling, 'Dog. DOG. DOOOGGG!!!" Yes, we get it. There is a dog there.

As for the 3.5 dozen cupcakes I made last night, most went with the kids to school and some to work. I took the old "Dirt Cake" recipe and instead made Dirt Cupcakes. Way better. Little individual bites of dirty, wormy goodness.Dirt cake/cupcakes 'how to', HERE.

Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. The kids have a Halloween parade, then a party at school. Tonight I have to make cupcakes and get their costumes together. I've already packaged up some goodies for the kids in their class.I already have 3.5 dozen cupcakes in the oven. So in lieu of a real post, I'll give you a flashback to Halloween past. The old gingerbread haunted mansion of 2006, and one of my faves, "Grave Cupcakes".
I won't be making those for tomorrow. I don't want to scare the beejeezus out of the kiddies.

Damn, they don't make 'em like this anymore, I ask, cause I'm not sure. Do anybody make real sh*t anymore?

Mad. I was supposed to go to the Murakami opening this weekend but missed it. Not only do I love MOCA and Murakami, but I love Keanu Reeves who was there looking around, dammit. Not that I would have jumped on his back and told him how much I love him...or something. But still, mad. Also Kanye West played the opening and I love me some Kanye West.

We went to a pumpkin patch this weekend which had WAY reasonably priced pumpkins, it was the kiddie rides that ate at my wallet. In the old days I'd carve one decently complicated pumpkin and call it a day. Cut to Jenn2007, and now I have two kids that are demanding and can talk and who know that Mommy can carve just about anything they ask for. Talking sucks.

The Baby asked for Plex from Yo Gabba Gabba. (I think Mike did too, actually.):
The Kid asked for "Paul Frank" - meaning Julius the monkey:
For the 'big' pumpkin I decided to go with something that the kids LOVE. That is...Peter Pan. Goddam they ask to watch that movie everyday (meaning turn it on and then leave the room) and they play with Peter Pan figures everyday and even dress up like the characters...EVERY freakin' DAY. You can guess where this is going, yes, they are going to be Peter Pan and Captain Hook for Halloween. They still haven't decided who's who yet, but considering the costumes are the same size even though they are two years apart, I guess they'll figure it out the day of. Here's Peter the pumpkin:I used a #11 xacto knife on all of them. Most parts I had to free hand, because these were some thick skinned uncooperative pumpkins. I think I have fulfilled the pumpkin carving quota for the year. Peace out.
For more pumpkin photos, go HERE.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.

Ancient Chinese secret

Found while doing laundry.

My kids are trying to scare the crap out of me. It's working.

Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that...Grey Poupon!

This half hour Office format leaves me wanting more, but it's probably best to cut it short given the fact that the hour-longs were just so so. B.J. Novak wrote this episode and I thought it flowed really well, but the whole Andy/Angela thing is creeping me out. However I will yell out "OH D" next time I am making out. Or drinking soda at the vending machine.

I can also relate to the Pam thing a whole lot, as I have been up late sketching something new, similar to the O.G. book, but whether or not something good comes out of it, only time will tell.

Someone needs to enlighten me on Second Life, because I don't get it. It's like the SIMS right, but what happened does no one play the SIMS anymore? Is Second Life just for hooking up with people cause that's what myspace and facebook seem like to me. If I ever need a hot date I guess I know where to whore myself.

For those who asked, I am far from the fires but I smell them in the air. I see the creepy yet lovely orange moon every night. There is ash everywhere and the kids aren't allowed out to play. Everyday I ask the Kid if he went outside and he says, "Nope. The fireman hasn't finished the fire yet."

Also: Kevin's Kool-Aid Man face. Dah!

Eddie: What do you see when you look in the mirror, darling?Patsy: Me looking fabulous. What do you see?Eddie: Yeah... Just the room.

Interesting (not really) things:

• Some people think all I do is watch the Office, drive my Kid to the ER, and bake cookies all day...hey, wait... Now I am depressed again.

• My kids invented a new game called "F* with Mommy's mental health". Here's how it's played, take turns waking me up every hour on the hour, ALL FREAKIN' NIGHT." Get the board game, you'll love it.

• I think peanut M&Ms are making me sick. I need to find a new form of substance abuse.

• I thought the new IT guy at work was deaf. Turns out he was just ignoring me. Dick.

• This is what happens when you google yourself. What the?

• I saw this Snickers bar at the deli and it bothered me so much I had to buy it. God that's so annoying.

You and I in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got

The decorations for the Baby's bday party have arrived. Wolverine balloons and Elmo balloons. A FIGHT TO THE DEATH. I should hire some characters for a fight to the death. Or just dress the kids up and let them go at it.
Speaking of characters, the Kid is at that age where he is now invited to school parties, so...he has expectations. Take last week. He went to a kid's party where DARTH VADER showed up. Awesome. I had to take care of the Baby so I didn't get to go, but I asked him how things went. Here's a rundown:

The Kid: "Mommy it was neat! Darth Vader came. He did magic tricks and gave us candy. We ate pizza and watermelon. Then Darth Vader made us balloon animals."

The f*ck? Is Lord Vader on such hard times that he had to take a second job doing kids parties? I am pissed that I couldn't go, cause seeing Darth Vader make balloon animals would have made my life complete.

You could drive her away, to a happier place, to a happier day, that exists in your mind, and in your smile

So I went to Target and totally got some 'funk-be-gone' and by golly, my sad, sad, emo-ness has now disappeared and I feel fantastic. Not exactly, but I do plan on having a better week this week, even if it kills me. I think I need some peanut M&Ms. A whole giftbasket full.

Just what did I do with the gingerbread?

Well, I made gingerbats, of course. I didn't frost them, instead, to amuse myself, I just used tiny sprinkles for eyes and TEEF. Fangs, actually. But it looks like these bats need some orthodontics.
Baking has cured my blues. Does this mean that I will have a kitchen surrounded by cakes, cupcakes, cookies, brownies where I will have to eat my way out??...only time will tell.

Gift baskets are amazing, Phyllis. Gift baskets are... the essence of class and fanciness. They are the ultimate present a person can receive.

This weekend I drove 40 miles round trip to do a friend a favor and drop something off. And when I got there, she wasn't even there. After she assured me that I should be there at 8:30am. It wouldn't matter so much if the Kid hadn't been with me and was looking forward to it. Ugh.

My biggest pet peeve? Being unappreciated. And it's happening more and more. I think I should cut ties with everyone who makes me feel like this. Oh wait. That means I'd have no friends, I'd quit my job, I'd disown my family...

Instead, the Kid and I will make cookies for everyone who we DO like. That list is becoming few and far between, let me tell you.

Here is a picture of perfect gingerbread dough, when it rolls right out of the bowl, clean as can be. But just what are we going to do with this fine, fine, slab of dough...

Now I fear you've left me standing In a world that's so demanding

MOCA. Early morning. Art.

Tickle me...

Do you know who Kevin Clash is? I bet you do.

Monkey problems? I don't have monkey problems. I hate monkeys.

Look how stressed I am, I forgot it was Thursday night! Office night? Hello?? What is wrong with me? Therefore you get two posts from me in one day. Sorry.

Another one hour episode, but you have to agree with me that this one was WORTH IT. Dwight's B&B Beet Farm (The Radishinn) was too awesome. I just about died when Mose was running next to the car. I woulda been outta there at that point. The way things have been going lately? The silent "W" and "L" that Kelly pulled on Daryl - I so need to incorporate that into my daily life.

Something about this episode felt very 'BBC Office' to me. Maybe it was the cringe-tastic humanity coupled with the humor. The British Office did that well, and the American version has it's moments but never really picked up on that until now. It helps the characters and story tremendously. Pam and Jim made me a very happy fan this week. It was too sweet for words. After last week I was unsure, but this week gave me hope. Best episode so far.

Just so you know, I am boycotting "Bee Movie" purely on the fact that NBC has taken every opportunity, at every commercial, to shove it down my throat. Screw you NBC. Screw you Jerry Seinfeld.

I can't sleep at night, I toss and turn, listening for the telephone

Is it weird to eat pie for dinner, but then have the same pie for dessert? That's totally different than having two pieces of pie in one sitting, am I right?

My project is under construction, which means goodbye heels, hello workboots. Today I asked if I could climb up the scaffolding, cause I love hanging off the sides of buildings when given an opportunity. They said no problem but that it wasn't totally prepped. As the foreman was coming around the corner he said, 'you can stand anywhere but ...RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE STANDING!' Apparently they hadn't gotten around to putting up the 'caution/danger' signage yet and I found myself being held up two stories by only a thin piece of plywood. Nice.

Later that day I came back and they had put the 'hey watch out' signage up. Good thing I don't weigh more. Hm. Maybe that pie, with a side of pie and pie for dessert is not such a good idea after all....

Somebody stop me, from thinking all the time, so bleakly, so bleakly all the time

The Kid is like me, early riser, between 6 and 6:30am, no alarm. I usually hear him wake up within seconds of my own eyes opening. We are in sync like that. In the mornings we eat breakfast, just the two of us - before the Baby wakes up. Well, he eats. I usually take advil and drink water.

The other day he said, "Mommy, are you happy?" Yikes. It's like having a miniature 3 foot Dr. Phil appear at the kitchen table. I told him the truth, "Not really, I'm pretty stressed." He said, "Yeah, school stresses me out too." To which I replied, "Are you freakin' kidding me, you just finger paint and drink juice! Shut up!" I did not say that but it would have been awesome.

Things have been emo-licious around here lately. Thus the thinking about shutting down the blog, closing up shop, deleting all contacts and slinking away...There is only one thing that can fix that kind of negative thinking...

ITTY BITTY ROOT BEER. Holy crap that is awesome. I saw it at Target and it called me from the shelf. It's the cutest thing ever and just enough soda for little ol' me. I love you bitty root beer. I love you a lot. You saved my poor little emo heart.

Tonight the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch.

True story, I was planning on shutting this blog down a few days ago. Just slinking away and hoping that no one noticed. Instead I plan to use this as a forum to solve the world's problems. First up - what should I carve in my Halloween pumpkin this year?

In the past I have done Dragonball Z, Mickey Mouse, a pirate, MY OWN FACE, and Batman to name a few. You can see some of them here, there are a lot missing, but I am too lazy to go look for the pictures.

Just like every year, I am stumped for an idea. I like to pick fun things that are creative and recognizable. Oh, and hopefully aren't time consuming. Cause you know, I've got a whole lotta "Hills" tivo'ed that need watching. That Batman took only 20 minutes. It was the stupid hollowing/cleaning out the pumpkin that took 40 minutes.

I'd ask the kids but they always come up with crazy sh*t like I'm Michelangelo of pumpkin carving or something. Any suggestions?

Who's gonna do my banking? Who's gonna write my blog? Who's gonna do my cooking on taco Wednesdays?

Tip of the day: Don't take a kid to a restaurant with a prominent bar. When asked what he wants to drink, he will inevitably point to the graphic alcohol menu and say, "I want the VOLCANO."

Did you know that I vacuum, everyday? And scrub the kitchen floor, everyday? And do laundry, EVERY DAMN DAY? So why does my house still look like a nightmare? I am exhausted.

Maybe it's this weather. I've longed for this weather all year, that fall crispness, the 'cold' (for now) of the low 50s. I love it. But it makes me lazy. I have so much to do, but sooo....layyzayyy.

Since the weather is colder I can turn my attention back to warming up the kitchen. Today - chicken chili. Here comes the lazy, I used a roasted chicken from the store, so easy! Yes, it's half cheating since I bought the chicken pre-roasted, but Rachael Ray, I am not. I mean, would I wear eyeliner that dark? Seriously what the f with her face? I mean, I love Joy Division too, but damn.

Chicken Chili recipe, here.

Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure imagination

Only a fool would take the kids to Disneyland on the rainiest of days, right? Right?? Yeah. Well, I really wanted to go, and I said it out loud, so there you have it. The rain wasn't that bad, but I was glad I had their fuzzy winter coats. The chill factor was frrreezing. Then in true SoCal fashion, the sun came out and it was f*ing hot for the rest of the afternoon.

The reason we went was to see the Candy Corn Festival at DCA. Doesn't that sound delicious? Sadly the festival blew, since there was no real candy corn, just fake ones, which was cute but still lame. I want sugar. The only good thing was that it was at DCA, so I hope it brings them more guests. I like that park, although it's sad to see most of the architecural stuff we worked on has been shut down due to lack of interest. They really need to revamp that place and fast.

My favorite 'ride' of course, being the 'Tortilla Factory". Spare me the history of corn, I just love the delicious free tortillas at the end, thanks. I bought the Baby his first pair of 'ears' and I found it interesting that now it's all fancy and computerized, not like the giant scary needle and yellow thread that they used to have, where they sewed the names by hand. That was in the 70s. I guess I think I just dated myself with my old-ness. So, now it's all computerized. Ah, progress.

I would love a giant mofo sewing machine for my home. I would make so many cool things with it! Eh, not really. I'd just make the same crap I make now, but it'd sure look nice sitting in the corner of my craft room collecting dust.

It was surprisingly crowded for such a horrible weather day, which meant I could use the excuse to drag the kids home early. Doesn't matter. I'm sure we'll be back next week.

More of our day at Disneyland, here.

Attention earthlings: beep boop beep beep boop boop boop beep beep...boop beep

Get this, I have not been to Target in TWO weeks! Is that something?? Sure I have more money, but it also means my children are not clean or well fed. Oh well. So today I pulled up my bootstraps and headed in.

Despite the idiot checker who banged my crap around, thus punching a whole in my milk, thus leaking in the bag, thus leaking in my car, thus leaking on my carpet, thus leaking on my kitchen floor, I still remained in good spirits from my Target high.

I got out of there with ELEVEN bags, stuffed to the rim, and it was all $103. Not bad, really. Toilet paper, milk (half a jug now, dammit), snacks for school, yogurt for breakfast, bathroom cleaner, it was all necessity. Except for these things:
Then again, who doesn't need matching Glow in the Dark Skeleton hoodies, mini Oreos and big bag of fake teeth? I think that's necessity...The Oreos and fake teeth are for school goodie bags, and obviously, the hoodies are for the kids and not for me. But don't think I didn't try to go look for one my size. I guess I can use the fake teeth myself. Phooey.

It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.

Ok. Here's where it gets nasty. I did not like tonight's Office...and I watched it twice. To punish myself? To make sure? I have no idea. I was in a drunken stupor from packaging up holiday tags, and that I felt I needed to watch it twice to make sure that I didn't miss all the...non-funny...parts. *sigh*

Yes, PB&J on the roof was cute. But not cute enough, dammit! Ok. Angela's pelvic cast had me ROLLING. As did Ed Helms dance with the horn. But everything else? EH.

There was a time when that show was way more relatable to me. I worked in a big company, with a bunch of 'characters' (i.e. crazy asses) and it was awful and entertaining. Also, that old company really appreciated my baking. I could experiment and make 4 dozen cookies, dump them in the kitchen and they'd be gone in an hour.

Nowadays I work with all women, all in their early twenties, all size 2. They have yet to really experience life and would like to do so without carbs. So I have no one to appreciate my cooking. There should be some sort of 'safe drop off' for unwanted baked goods. Like the 'safe baby drop off'* at hospitals and police stations. There should be a place where I can surrender my cupcakes and pies, and know that they will be in good hands and loved by whoever received them. *sniff* Doesn't anyone want my cookies??


*is this just in California? Huh.

Constant...craving...has always been.

Just an aside, emailing while driving will be the death of me. I'm sure of it.

I have cravings. Maybe that's not quite the word but I can't think of a better one. When I find myself in certain places I feel the need to eat specific things. My mom has season tickets to the Opera, and this month was Jenufa. It was fantastic and I highly recommend it. What's more fun than a story about a dead illegitimate child and a woman being stabbed in the face? Come on! That's good times!

Whenever I go to the Opera I have to eat a Patina brownie. It's horrible. Not the urge, the brownie. It tastes awful. Too chocolately, too much non-blended granulated sugar, and it's chewy. I don't like sticky chewy brownies. Yet, I want it. Everytime. Then I started thinking, what else do I HAVE TO HAVE and where?

Disneyland = pink cotton candy
weekend Farmer's Market = agua fresca and chilaquiles
Knott's Berry Farm = fried chicken (that's a given)
Paul Frank = Pink's hot dogs (down the street)
Ala Moana in Waikiki = Thirst Aid orange freeze (now gone, sad)
Dim Sum = daan tarts (custard tarts)
L.A. Zoo = Cinnamon glazed roasted almonds
The Grove aka Fairfax Farmer's Market = beignets at the Gumbo Pot
Staples Center = Popcornopolis
J-town (Little Tokyo) = mochi ice cream and an imagawayaki

When I go to these places, it's a given that I will buy these things, whether I am hungry or not. They aren't particularly good, as you can tell, but maybe it's the spirit of the place that settles me into that 'wanting'.

Am I the only one who has these cravings? Sure, hot dogs at ball games, popcorn at the movies, but Opera brownies? You can't beat that.

Let's talk turkey

"Uh..OH. Mommy! But...but, this is FAST FOOD!" So cried the Kid as I pulled into a Carl's Jr. the other day. My kids don't eat fast food you see. Mostly because I have to eat whatever they eat and I don't care for it. Therefore, the deprivation. But we were in an unfortunate circumstance, in an unfamiliar part of town, and it was that horrible time of day: One Second Past Hungry. So I did what I had to. Generally I feel like Anthony Bourdain does, fast food doesn't have to mean artery clogging burgers and faux chicken fingers. It can be noodles. Or tacos. Or anything that doesn't come on a sesame seed bun, really.

But yes, generally I cook from scratch for the boys, so I'm sure a McSomething probably sounds pretty good to them. I get inspired by walking through the market which is why I always leave with 50 more things than I went in for. The other day I saw a WHOLE TURKEY BREAST. At first I thought that was weird, then again I thought maybe I could feed all of us and more with just that.

So I roasted it up, and wouldn't ya know, two days worth o' food for just $6. I served it with rice because my children are freaks and do not like potatoes. I know, they should be disowned but I've grown fond of them so I'll keep 'em for now. Those little potato hating heathens. All in all the turkey was a good lead up to a 'real' one on Thanksgiving, and I even got a - "WOW. Mommy! This turkey tastes sooo GOOD." That's some tasty McTurkey.

Roasted Turkey Breast recipe, HERE.

p.s. You don't have to serve it on plates or utensils like this. Especially if you don't have kids, that'd just be weird!

I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV, against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D.

Let's play Jeopardy, shall we?

Answer: I moved a way too heavy ass dresser, the crib, a rocking chair, tons of toys, tons of clothes and books , a window bench, and two tv stands, all BY MYSELF. I'm sure my back will pay for it later.
Question: How did the Baby's room get rearranged in an hour?

Answer: 1. The olive rolls at Breadbar are to die for. I often buy one and just keep it in my purse all day to snack on later. 2. The shoe and purse section at Bloomingdale's. 3. Zara. I love everything in this store. Thankfully I am not a size 0 so nothing usually fits me. The other day I almost walked out with nothing, til I saw these gorgeous latte colored satin shoes and that was it. I did not make it to the exit.
Question: Why I should not be allowed to shop at Century City Mall (er, Westfield Shoppingtown - lamest name ever.)

Answer: Looking at Elmo pinatas online.
Question: What have I been doing for the past hour.

Answer: I am getting over an awful cold sore. Now I think I have a sty eye. Great.
Question: Why am I so hideous?

Thanks for playing.

Michael Scott: It's important this company celebrates its diversity. And you know what, Stanley, come Kwanzaa time, I've got you covered baby.

No cooking questions, fine. The ones that were emailed to me I answered. Keep on lurking with your bad selves.

Nanette and I went to a *free* (key word here) cupcake/cookie decorating class at Williams Sonoma. (I think that's why it sucked.) I have taken a paid class there before and it was all good, a great learning experience. This thing? Not so much. It was less than basic and was just showing off their tools, most of which I own... *ahem*. Anyway, I was looking for something that'd teach me something I didn't know, or would inspire me to make something new. So I was really disappointed. I told Nanette we could probably host that class ourselves for god's sakes. Which would be awesome OR might end up like Schweaty Balls, which would also be awesome.



This is a 3 day weekend. Did you know that? I did not know that. In my entire school life I never had Columbus Day off, but my kids do now, apparently. Which means I have to take off work. Which means I don't get paid. Which means I need to think up something to do with these lil' chillins here. What am I supposed to do to celebrate Columbus Day, take stuff from Indians or eat corn or something? Who knows.

It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine

Announcement: Los Angeles - Juicy Couture is over. A velour handbag? What are we all, 10 years old? Come on. Also, if I see that overused gothic font one more time I will kill someone.

Something more juicy that doesn't have to be written on your ass? Mini Caramel Apples. So easy and way too cute. Great for all these fall holiday parties that you may be attending, you social butterfly, you.

Mini Caramel Apples recipe, HERE.

While we are on the subject of juicy things, I open it up for cooking questions, yet again. I have gotten several emails lately, so you all must be cooking - it's the best time of year for it! Leave your questions in the comments in you have any, thanks!

TUNA. He's got a totally cool job. He's rich. He smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan would smell like...

I've had a rough week. Migraines. Vomiting. Ach-i-ness. Then I thought I pulled something when I was lifting heavy stone at work. Yes. I lift heavy stone at work. It's like the motherf*ing Flintstones up in here. Then, I drove 90 miles yesterday...but I ended up eating homemade biscotti at an Italian stone makers shop. So yeah, that part? Worth it.

Basically this week's Office hit very close to home. Ageism IS a bitch. Why just this morning I told the assistant, "Well, we're probably around the same age, right?" And she said, "Oh yeah, totally, I'm 24!" I spit up my water and nearly choked. 24? Ha! Reedickulous. Someone kill me.

Also, I gotta agree with Michael. I love me a good gift basket. You should see our employees run when free crap rolls through the door. At my old job the best we got was a hideous metal tub-o' 3-flavored popcorn. This job? It's all about the bling, baby. Who loves us more? Gourmet cupcakes. Catered lunches. Fresh scones. Our reps want to buy our love and goddamit we are going to let them.

I love these hour Office episodes. Screw you, half hour comedies. I wish this one hour thing would go on forever.

p.s. don't get me started on how great 30 Rock was. Best show on tv. But don't tell the Office. It'll think I'm cheating on it.

Pimpin' ain't easy. Fo' sheezy.

You would think, that from my recent posts, that I haven't sewn/cooked a damn thing lately. But you'd be wrong. I have been. A lot. I just don't have the time to post it. I've been busy getting ready for the holidays. Now onto the pimpin':

1. My cards are now being carried in Chicago (what up Chicago!), at Renegade Handmade...the store! I have always wanted to do the show, but can't seem to get it together to do a craft show on the East Coast. I am working on it though.

2. I never say where I am going to be ahead of time (what up stalkers!) however, I will tell you that I have finally decided to start getting out of the house again. There is an upcoming 'design showcase' (read: high end craft show) just for architect/interior designers in Los Angeles, who also create crafts on the side. As, I am,that person...I will be at that show.

If you are interested, stop on by and buy things so that my kids can go to the college of their dreams. I may post the details later, however you may come and stab me so I may not post the details later. We'll see if anyone is interested. (Not in the stabbing.)

Also, here's the first new product for the holidays, with more to come...



Teeny Holiday Tags - a set of eight for $2.50.

(geez louise, do I love the parenthesis today, or what.)

That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth!

I hate being told what to do. I will volunteer my services, do something out of the kindness of my heart, but when forced to do something, eh, I have no interest.

So there I stood in the aisle of the supermarket, being told that a potluck was going to start in 30 minutes, and 'Oh yes, Jenn will make something, right Jenn?" Uh. Don't feel like it. Thanks for asking.

Rather than resort to buying something - which I hate doing, I ran through my recipes in my head. Hm. What to do? Especially when given such a short amount of time, an ice cream bombe was out. Baking a cake was out too. Therefore, I give you my solution, a quick and easy recipe that looks so presentable people will think you spent hours on it.

Chocolate dipped strawberries. It takes no time, and just a few ingredients. And really, anything dipped in chocolate is good, right? Except maybe fish. Just don't TELL me to make them for you. Cause I won't.

Chocolate dipped strawberries recipe, HERE.

George Costanza: "Did you see the way she pointed at the check? She gave me the finger!"

If you are keeping count at home...
Number of fingernails I have: 10
Number of fingernails the Baby has: NINE.

So disgusting. The Baby's fingernail fell off this weekend and it's all from thumbsucking. How gross is that. I gots me the heebie jeebies, I'll tell you what. Poor baby. Good thing his birthday is coming up. Maybe someone will buy him a new fingernail or at least a corn chip nail tip.

And now I can finally reveal the theme for his birthday. Wanna see the invite I made? Can you help me? Can we dance? Let's do it! Break it down!

Ha, I threw you. No Yo Gabba Gabba. Nope. His two fave things in the whole world are ELMO and WOLVERINE. Much like the Baby's personality, he too is cute and cuddly, but will rip your eyes out with his (now nine) tiny claws if crossed. And so there you have it. An Elmo/Wolverine party. Could there be a more exciting match up?